Stop involving friends in your relationship fights

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during the debate, you can feel like You need help from One family members or friend to help Find a middle ground with your partner. While seeking support from a third party may seem like a good idea, it can also be a sign of triangulation, which is a form of emotional manipulation.

“A triangle is a three-person interaction that one person did not consent to. Essentially, it occurs when your partner dynamically introduces another person into your relationship in order to use them to achieve some objective of their own. I can get help. Dr. Sarah E. Hill, a psychologist and professor on dating, tells Lifehacker. “Typically, this occurs when one partner is trying to manipulate the other into behaving in some way that is beneficial to their own ends.”

Why Trikonasana is Harmful to Relationships

No one likes to feel like the third wheel in their relationship, and Trikonasana amplifies that weird feeling tenfold.

Hill explains, “Intimacy is built through communication and the couple sharing a private sphere of experience that is not shared with others.” “So, any time you introduce another person into the color of a relationship—Whether the person is real or exists in an abstraction, like an ex—it undermines intimacy. This’It is also harmful, she says, because it’In the end cleverness. ,Healthy relationships are based on direct communication about one’s needs.,

How does triangulation look in a relationship

According to Hill, triangulation appears any time your partner tries to change your behavior or feelings by using a third person as a manipulation device. Below she shares some of the most common scenarios where leads to triangle performance UP.

  • Your partner mentions their ex and how hard they are trying to get back together. “Here, they are actively introducing a third person into your relationship to make you feel insecure and jealous as a means of increasing your focus on the relationship,” explains Hill.
  • Your partner has a problem with you, but instead of talking about it with you, they talk about it with someone you both know. ,[This is done] With the ultimate goal of bringing the information back to you,” says Hill.
  • Your partner draws a third party into an argument that you are having, as a way of tilting the balance of power in their favor. “For example,” says Hill. “If you’re arguing about the importance of weekly date nights and your partner is against it, he or she may drag a like-minded friend into the argument to try to get you to acknowledge that date nights are important. are not.”
  • A partner may tell you about a flirtatious co-worker who is following them. “They may also ask for your advice on what to do about this person,” explains Hill. “They’re doing this to create the illusion that they have high desirability as a means of trying to make you feel insecure and that you need to do more to please them.”

What to do about it

Hill says reducing triangulation is often as easy as addressing it directly. “If you don’t feel that your partner is intentionally manipulative, addressing it can be as simple as, ‘I understand that this probably isn’t your intention, but bringing this other person into our relationship is tantamount to manipulation. effort. my behavior,'” she explains. Then, says Hill, you can ask your partner to talk about the reasons for the triangular effort, noting whether it’This is an issue that can be addressed in some other way. “For example, if one partner is talking about an ex because they feel they are not valued in the relationship, this is an opportunity for everyone to talk about healthy ways to feel valued in the relationship. is,” she notes.

However, if you think your partner is being intentionally manipulative, Hill suggests having a slightly different conversation. Concentrate dynamic and more directly on the inappropriateness of being Be clear about your limits. “Triangulation can be a common ploy among narcissists, so it’s important to be clear about what you will not tolerate in a relationship, so that you can escape if you are in a relationship that starts to become unhealthy,” she warns. Gives In this instance, seeking the help of a third party-like a doctor-might be a good idea,

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